The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Negotiations, Deals and Success

Emotional intelligence is a powerful tool to have at your disposal for pretty much every negotiation and deal you face. It helps you understand and manage your own emotions, read the unspoken words of those sat opposite and communicate more effectively. Combined with preparation and confidence, high emotional intelligence will help you close better deals and build stronger relationships in business.

When you think about building leadership skills, it might be strategy, decision making or motivation techniques that come to mind. But one of the most practical leadership skills you can develop is emotional intelligence: how you understand others’ intentions, reactions and styles of communication. Emotional intelligence helps you understand how people feel, how you yourself are coming across, how to respond in positive ways that keep conversations moving forward and how to reach agreements that work for all sides. In environments where emotions run high and stakes are real, having emotional intelligence can mean the difference between success and missed opportunities.

What Emotional Intelligence Means in Negotiation

When you hear the phrase emotional intelligence, it means your ability to recognise and manage your own emotions and also understand how other people are feeling. In a negotiation, this skill helps you do more than talk numbers. It helps you listen, it helps you stay calm under pressure, and it helps you build trust with the person sitting across from you. You start to pick up on tone of voice, facial expressions, and behaviour that reveal more than words alone. 

By paying attention to these signals, you can adapt your approach and keep the conversation productive. Emotional intelligence is what makes you responsive instead of reactive – someone who thinks before they make the next move – and that difference matters in deals of all sizes.

Why Self Awareness Gives You an Edge

The first prerequisite for high emotional intelligence is self awareness. This means you understand what you are feeling in the moment and how those feelings influence your choices. For example, if you find yourself feeling frustrated or rushed, self awareness will help you recognise those emotions before they show up in your tone or body language. When you can pause and consider your reaction, you stay in control of the negotiation rather than letting emotion take over. This shows respect, calm, and confidence to the other side. It also helps you make clearer decisions because you are not being driven by impulse or stress.

How to Read the Other Side Rather Than Guessing

Understanding the other person does not require guessing their thoughts; it requires paying attention. People communicate a lot with their body language, pace of speech, and what they choose not to say. When you notice tension in someone’s voice or hesitation in their answers, you can explore it with a calm question. Instead of moving straight to your next point, try asking what part of the process is most important to that person. 

Showing you want to understand their personal motivations and concerns invites honest feedback and gives you more information to work with. When you increase your emotional awareness of others, you make the negotiation feel more respectful and cooperative.

Staying Calm When The Stakes Are High

Negotiations can be high-pressure environments: you’ve got to try and make two parties happy, often who want contrasting things, without becoming frustrated with anyone who seems not to be playing ball. In these scenarios, emotional intelligence helps you manage your automatic reactions. Part of this is emotional regulation, where you recognise a strong feeling and decide how to express it thoughtfully. You might take a breath, summarise what you have heard, or propose a break to give everyone a moment to think. 

A recent story from Business Insider interviewed a veteran hostage negotiator who was emphasising this exact point: letting emotional reactions take control is the fastest way to derail a negotiation, and experienced negotiators manage their emotions deliberately to keep discussions on track. When you stay composed, you encourage others to do the same, which leads to more constructive conversations.

How Emotional Intelligence Helps After the Deal Is Made

A clear negotiation outcome is important, but what happens after the deal is equally significant. Emotional intelligence helps you build trusting relationships that last beyond a single meeting, disagreement or, for that matter, disagreement. To paraphrase writer and activist, Maya Angelou, people might forget exactly what you said or did, but they’ll remember how you made them feel. If you treat people with understanding and courtesy, they’ll be more likely to want to work with you again or recommend you to others, regardless of how a particular deal went down. Long term: you’re building trust, not merely completing a transaction. 

Strong emotional intelligence will also help you manage any conflict or complication that may come out of a negotiation, particularly where some stakeholders might’ve felt they lost out, helping you adapt to change with resilience.

Practising Emotional Intelligence Every Day

The good news is that, whilst certainly something that comes more naturally to some than others, emotional intelligence is a skill you can most definitely practise and improve over time. You could start by reflecting on past interactions that went particularly well or badly, thinking about how emotions influenced the outcome. Ask yourself what worked and where you could have responded differently. You might also want to also seek feedback from trusted colleagues about how your communication comes across (potentially a good opportunity to practise how not to react emotionally)! 

There are simple techniques like mindful reflection, active listening, and pausing before you speak that can strengthen your ability to stay centred in high pressure conversations. The more you practise these habits, the more natural they become.